"I need to be less rude to my parents. It's my worst habit. Other than not wearing my retainer."
"It's an analogy. Have you ever noticed there's the word anal in that?"
"So I got this 50 dollar bill today, and at some point I got up and left it sitting on the table. Mom and Cindy decided to teach me a 'responsibility lesson' by hiding it from me. When I finally found it, I went back downstairs and like an hour later I realized I didn't have the money. So I start frantically searching for it and freaking out. Then Cindy comes up to me, reaches in my shirt, and pulls the bill out of my bra. I put it there after I lost it the first time so I wouldn't lose it again. I feel like such an idiot."
"High school is just a big fat suffering contest."
"What's something I want to be remembered for when I die? That I had good taste in music."
"I want to slap her every time she talks about him. Which is all the time"
On Setting Goals:
"Well I'm crossing my fingers and hoping I don't screw this up!" (October 21, 2007)
"So I may have screwed this up." (October 23, 2007)
"Never kiss a guy who, at any point in his life, has had a mullet and/or rattail."
"Sometimes I wish I could be really selfish. Because people who are selfish always get exactly what they want, and they don't even feel bad about it. Haha. Sucks to be such a good person."